The First Child
I think its true what they say about the first-born child…they receive so much of your undivided attention. Sometimes this attention manifests in weird and wonderful ways. Of course I see this only in hindsight. Our number three often just gets thrown food when she squawks at us and has developed a strong sense of self and security already from such an early age.
Priya, our oldest daughter (now 6) is super shy and introverted. Her preschool teacher described her to me once. I was expressing some concern about her lack of social skills and so she explained her personality like this 'she is cultivating such a rich inner world that she actually has little concern for what’s going on around her and outside of her'.
So when I mentioned to her about the upcoming talent search for ABC’s Dirt Girl series I was totally surprised that she was keen. We talked about what it would entail and suggested she make her video about aquaponics. Her response was ‘But I don’t know anything about aquaponics’…so not true. Then she remembered that last year she had written a mini essay about aquaponics and set about trying to find it.
She couldn’t find it and that’s when she decided she was too scared to do it. Its moments like this that I hesitate. What is the right thing to do? I was brought up in a culture and age where we push through our fears, feelings and energy levels. To a point where I know so many people who have suffered from adrenal burn out. So at what point do we decided to trust our intuition and say no to things that don’t support us?
Facing this internal dilemma, I tried to find the balance. We talked about the possibility that if we are afraid to do something its like a window of opportunity opens and if we just jump through it, anything is possible. I explained that I often feel nervous before a big show but I use the nerves to fuel my performance and that there is a big difference between that type of nervous fear and the scared feeling you get when you are in a dangerous situation. This is the type of fear we don’t ignore.
I tried to explain to her that it might take a lifetime of practise to tune into which type of fear she was experiencing but never the less, keep trusting and strengthening her intuition. She decided after the pep talk she would give it a try and see how it went.
In absolute amazement I watched my shy and introverted girl come out of her shell. In front of the camera she blossomed. She even explained some things about aquaponics that I didn’t even know. Of course I had to cut most of it out cause its was supposed to be a 30 sec clip. I’m so proud of her. She was absolutely buzzing with excitement when we finished and told me I was right about jumping through the window of fear!
So here she is my little Aquaponics Girl!